chacko just turned one the other day..as for me, i kept wondering as to whether it was he or me who grew up in the past one year. I think largely, while chacko grew up a step at a time, I grew in smaller, more numerous steps. I became a grown up truly, as I took care of my son. It feels like yesterday, when he lay a delicate bundle next to me in the hospital and today, he is punching hard at everything he sees- as if he wants to shake life out of the world around him.
In so many ways, I feel that he shook life out of me too- a part of me that I never knew existed within has come alive as chacko grew up and crwaled out of his cradle to our marble floor.
I have always lived a life of convenience- doing what I wanted to do, spending time the way I wished to, with those I liked being with, travelling, spending, sleeping, eating.. I dont know when it was during the past year that I stopped caring about my sleep, and my leisure. Whew! And how I grew beyond a world of conveniences to a world of reponsibilities and care.
Have I liked the ride? I have loved every moment of it!! I will never forget the time when I sat up with a three month old at 2 am, watching him smile at infinity and gesture in slow motions at some invisible friend. Or the day when he had to have a minor cut on his neck and I sat weeping outside the operating room.
I think I grew up big time during the past year- I grew beyond myself and truly embraced life.
for tonight, ta- ta.
